What Do Women Want?

Ahhh the age old question, what do they want or to be more specific, what do they like in a man? The market that deals with this question is a multi-million dollar industry, as books, seminars, and more recently, “gurus” have begun to emerge, each with their own unique style, claiming that they are the ones who know the “true” answer to this question. Shows like the “Pick-up Artist” have spawned thousands of men who dedicate their lives to studying the art of “pick-up” so that they can master the skills necessary to get any girl they want. The debate over which style reigns superior draws many parallels to that of the debate over which martial art style is the best. But just as the popularity of any martial art depends on the skill of the fighter that represents it, the same can be said about any one of the “Venusian” arts a person decides to study under. For those of you who wonder where the hell I’m going with this, be patient as I shall soon arrive to my point. Overall, the two things that each venusian style tends to agree with, (maybe a tad too general) is that one must: 1) be unique from everyone else, whether it be by style of dress or by your personality and 2) avoid being the nice guy i.e. buying her drinks at the bar/club, complementing her looks right when you meet her, etc. Seems simple enough no? But from personal experience, I can testify that every new encounter I’ve had with a woman was unique and to a certain extent, had different opinions as to what they looked for or found attractive in a man. Now there’s a great debate on whether or not these certain favorable traits are universal worldwide or if they vary depending on your location and culture. This is something I’ll be researching in the days to come, but in the meantime, I was fortunate enough to have visited some clubs and “ultra lounges” over the weekend in Sacramento and while I was there, decided to conduct a little observational study of my own to see how women responded to various types of men.

On Friday night, we visited an ultra lounge called “Dream”. Very posh type of setting that seemed to attract an upscale type of crowd in the mid 20-40’s. We arrived pretty early so I was able to see who came in with a group and who came by themselves. The lounge had a separate area from the bar and dance floor where people could reserve a table and bottle service. I noticed that as the night went on, many women who either came in by themselves or in groups tended to hover around these areas while the dance floor seemed to be packed with men who came by themselves and men/women who came together as a group. The bar section was full of guys who came by themselves or in groups of 2-3. They seemed like they weren’t having a good time as they just stood around the edges of the dance floor, clutching their drinks and watching everyone else. One thing I noticed was that any man who seemed to have any kind of authority, whether it was the promoter, bouncers, managers or even men who seemed to know them pretty well had a pretty strong response from women, as many were either around them at all times or at their table.

Night 2 consisted of me and some friends walking around downtown Sacramento and visiting some of the bars, as St. Patty’s Day weekend was already in full swing. The bars we went to were more casual. The scene consisted of people enjoying the weekend with some friends and a couple of green beers (great beer btw). Many of the girls here seemed to enjoy hanging out with guys who seemed to be having the most fun in the bar. Compared to the quiet guys who were by themselves or seemed too shy to socialize with anyone, these guys seemed to be the lives of the party. Small drinking games, funny stories and a lot of laughter seemed to indicate that they were having a good time, which some of the women there seemed to notice. Again, I saw that going to a bar or club was not a good idea if you were a guy.

We visited a few more bars and clubs that night and a pattern that I began to notice was that regardless of your income or looks, if you appeared very relaxed and were having a good time with a group of friends, the chances of you meeting women were much better than if you just came by yourself, looking like you were just there hoping to “get lucky” with someone. It seemed as though the women were more relaxed around the “fun guys” because they came off as men who didn’t have any hidden agendas, they were there just to have fun.